Not any more 2006!

Boozhoo! 'allo again all olds. We, that is, of course, Mr Nuniwokingkac and and your true Jaques Shellac, wish that you will have, all, a most enjoyable New Year. Some of people say that it is sad, this time, but not me, oh no! For us it is busy time, as you will guess, with supplying the partied from our Frugal Colonial Foods larder of gastronomy delight.

Perhaps it is now too late for you to order the feast for this year, but only think ahead. Next year you can enjoy well-worn tundra mouthfuls of your own from our expansive range. But, be warned, they are not for mangeurs du lard!

Will you try Arctic Chilli? Here is how we cook it in our Ugluknuk kitchens.

3 tons red chilli pods

1 medium(50 ft.) Blue Whale cubed to finger-tip size using razor shap ulus, and so just a few stray finger tips will not be noticed

60 Oogruk (giant seals) cubed to finger-tip size

30 tons onions chopped fine with ulus

1 ton garlic minced

100 pounds sea salt

600 pounds oregano

400 pounds cumin

Then chop a bowl out of the ice 40 ft. long 20 ft. wide and 10 ft. deep.

All ingredients are placed in bowl and mixed heartily with harpoons and oosicks. Add water and fumarole-heated boulders, and now the brew, he bubble so nice! When he is cooked, the chilli is placed in five-gallon buckets, made from veritable musk ox hide, and stored in a glacier until you place order in time for next year!

If this receipt is too strong for your taste (you maybe, are not so partial to chilli - hey?), why not order the popular

Walrus with small birds cooking kit. We will send all ingredients so to help you easily to follow this one!
Kill and eviscerate a medium-sized walrus (no worry, my olds, we have killed the walrus for you!)

Net several flocks of small migrating birds (we can send the birds to you if you want - though, you understand, this cost extra - or you can buy our ACME Mist Net to catch your own - and this is good sport, oh, yes!)

Remove only one small wing feather from each wing

Store birds whole in interior of walrus

Sew up walrus and freeze.

Then, in one year - a feast. Partially thaw walrus. Slice and serve. My, 'ow popular will you be, then!