Les fruits des bois!

When you are banging away in the forest, my chums, and you can't find find a meaty meal to eat, how often does your belly need to rumble? You are searching, here, there, all over, but no thing to eat can you get! It is like that, but no more.

Do not have a big heart, here we are, at Frugal Colonial Foods, publishing for you the receipts for juicy viandes des bois. No more you need to gnaw your fingers or bite your ears, for we have the solves for you!

(We are not here talking about fancy pettes de sahrs, or silly Christ's ears, but true food from the wood - I hope you enjoy).



Pan-Roasted Grasshoppers
Ingredients
½ kg grasshoppers

juice of 1 lemon

salt

2 cloves garlic, crushed

Remove their legs, head, wings and guts , so that they will not escape!
Pan-roast the little bodies over a high heat for about 10 minutes or until they (or you) turn red. Add the lemon juice, salt and garlic and serve immediately.

So to help you to find your tasty grasshoppers, visit here and learn how they call. Pretend them and they will hop to you, and so to your pot!

Crow and Mushroom Stew

3 crows

1 Tbsp lard/shortening

1 pint stock or gravy

2 Tbsp cream1/2 cup mushrooms
salt and pepper cayenne pepper

Clean and cut crows into small portions and let them cook a short time in the lard/shortening in a saucepan, but careful - do not brown them. Next, to the contents of the pan, the stock or gravy add, and salt, pepper and cayenne to taste. Simmer 1 hour, or until those pretty crows are tender, add mushrooms, simmer 10 minutes more and then stir in cream. Arrange the mushrooms around the crows on a hot platter. Here is a warning! Some people are thinking that the crow and his family are spooky birds. If this is you, do not worry, but wait for him to die of old age before you eat him (but make sure you cook the little fly maggots separately, as a sauce brun).

Worms Recipes

Worms are highly nutritious - yes, it's true my olds.

Preparation: Purge your worms - of course. Simply wash and place the little creatures in moistened cornflour for 48 hours. Wash cornflour off and remove any dead worms, paff.

Cooking and boiling: bring to boil for 15 minutes then change water and boil again.

Baking: freeze worms first. This stops them from slithering off the baking tray (good plan, yes!). Bake for 30 minutes at 125°C (200°F). Baked worms may then be ground into "worm flour".

To get you started, here is:

Worm Meatloaf

650g mince 1/2 cup boiled worms, chopped finely

1 Maggi onion soup mix

1/2 cup evaporated milk

1/2 bell pepper, chopped

1 slice fresh bread, shredded

Mix all ingredients together and place in a loaf pan. Bake for 1 hour at 250°C (400°F). So easy!

Spicy BBQ Frog Legs

~ decent amount of frog legs

~ 5 - 10 drops of tabasco or to taste

~ salt

~ pepper

~ onion powder
Catch a bundle of frogs! Wash the frog legs thoroughly. Place them on a large enough piece of foil to wrap them in. Sprinkle on the tabasco. Season to taste with the salt, pepper and onion powder. Wrap and seal the foil to create a packet., with all the tasty legs inside. Grill over medium heat until meat is crispy. Serve with green beans and baked potatoes. Enjoy.

and at last ...

Tarantulas

Collect as many of them as you can! But do not confuse them with the very crazy Camel Spider I am reading about here. But wait, it is only a joking!

At the campsite, the wriggly tarantula spiders are killed. Everything is used. The abdomens are removed and strip them of their eggs. These eggs you wrap in a tasty leaf and roast them over a fire to produce .... a spider-egg omelette. The bodies are tossed onto the fire directly, so to singe off the hair and to cook the meat. When they're done, the legs and thorax, too, are crack open and pick at them, just like when you are eating the crab. After the meal, the fangs--they are formidable, a inch and a half big -- use them for toothpicks!

And so, you return from the forest with your bagful of tasty eats, with thanks to, your friendly, true Jaques Shellac!