Governor General, Jacques Shellac elevates you!

What watch? Such watch! Ah but yes, my olds, such time have passed since last I was massaging you all on the air. But now such a thing has happened! What is it, Jacques, you old friend of the muskeg, I hear you say. Have you turned another leaf? Has the veritable Mr Nuniwokingkac eloped again on his endless ramblings? My pretty larks, no. Jacques has kept all his foliage the right side up.

Mr Nuniwokingkac is home from peregrinating in India (but, it's true, he is a much quiet man since that trip. All he say, much of the time is, "Jai ho Ganpati." What does this mean?) No, caulifloweres, the great event that has broke my silence is this ... I was read, in the British Guardian gazette:

CANADIAN GOVERNOR GENERAL EATS RAW SEAL'S HEART

Name of a dog, at last! My eyes was trumped when I read it, my good chums, but there it is. Madame Michaelle Jean, she is one tough cookie, oh yes!

This is the sign, companions.

Gird your legs up and get over here to the Canadas as quick as you can hop.

But wait, Jacques, you say. Fondle your ponies! Why is it such a hurry?
The queues, my friends, the queues! That will be the why. This Madame Jean she have said, "It's good for you. It's very rich in protein" Now you can see! It is global money-crunch?

Yes! We are depressed? Of course! The bankers are self-obsessed? No doubt.
But Nuniwokingkac and Shellac have the answer and it is "Sons of the Big Canoe Uglu Sushi."
We shall be selling all over the world, and you can be part. Pull out your money-socks and look out for our shares. You, my little onions, are my good readers and friends, and so I offer you this chance first.